been awhile...

so its been awhile since i posted on here... been way too busy with work... and it continues to get busier and busier every day... =T

jay and jade have been in atlantic city for 4 months now... they came back in august for a week during daddy's 4 years... so it was nice to see them... =)

hawai'i was fun! =) went para sailing for the first time! =) that was a lot of fun... heehee... overall it was good...

went to LA with ate pauline, ate aileen, and abby... that was fun too... =) we went to universal and disneyland... a road trip for abby...

have been spending time with paul... he's been busy with school and work but we try to spend some time together... i really like being with him and spending time with him... his family is so sweet, especially his parents... i got to spend time with them over the summer which was nice... i hope to maybe see them again, but i know its hard because i'm off weekends but paul works weekends... maybe i'll get to see them again soon...

ryan and janice had their baby girl adry on sept. 24... ann and gary had their baby boy cristian on sept. 30... marie and her husband had their baby boy on oct. 1... tessie and carl had their baby girl on oct. 4... ate pammy and kuya gaylord's baby boy is due on nov. 19... on the pool i put the baby will be born on nov. 12... heehee... jason and tin tin's baby girl is due on nov. 20... but they baby may be early... soooo many babies... =)

whats next -- getting ready for thanksgiving and christmas... gotta go shopping... hopefully will have enough money to buy these presents... heehee... i think i'll be fine... heehee... maybe spend more time with people... if work doesn't get in the way...




*i really like him... i really do... i want to be with him... and he knows that... but i think i need to tell him again... i hope things will make us better... rather than worse... we help each other out... and support each other... and thats why i like him....*

update...

ahahahahahahha... ya its like heyla months... gooo figure... what has happened these past something months (since technically my last real post was in february)...

*brother and jade's wedding at st. ignatius church... congrats again to the newly weds...
*celebrated my 25th in more than one way -- a night in windsor, a celebration at home, and end it in vegas... =) craziness and what not... but good times none the less... =P
*spending a lot of time with someone who makes me smile and love being with...
*a whole weekend away from home, meeting new people, and getting to know them and the hometown...


whats coming up:

*abby's graduation this saturday (5/30)
*jay and jade's going away party on sunday (5/31)
*jay and jade leave for atlantic city, nj on 6/4 --> =(
*aileen's bachelorette party on 6/6
*HAWAI'I with my lovely family = 6/14-6/21
*aileen and ed's wedding on 6/27
*and somewhere in there plan a birthday getaway for the special someone... or suprise something for him... any ideas???



i'm staying happy and taking every moment we have together... spending time... seeing each other... but its hard when you're doing all of this, and in the end things will change... you're trying your best to understand... but you don't understand when you keep saying that there are ways to work things out... if you want it to happen, you will make it work out... i always believe that... i want things to work out... and i want things to happen... sooo i will try my best to never give up... i care too much for him to give up just like that... i never gave up before... why give up now??







and thats all folks... for now... =P

update...

i def need to update...


...but tonight is not the night. =P





*i pray and hope that things fall the way they are suppose to fall into place... things happen for a reason... i hope it happens for the right reason...

busy busy busy...

...sooo i've been really busy... lets see if i can re-cap...

decided last minute to head to LA for kuya jesse's funeral with kuya jordz... drove thursday night... got to long beach @ 3am friday morning... slept for 3 hours... headed to east LA where the funeral services were going to be at... met kuya jesse's mom... and ucsc alums... crazy seeing and meeting folks... but at the same time it was good to meet them... kicked it with kuya jesse's family for a bit... then headed back to long beach to lady's place... had dinner at roscoe's chicken and waffles for the very first time!! =D ate 75% of my food... and if you know me, you know i only eat half... =P sooooo you know i devoured that ish... ahahahahahahahahha... headed back to santa cruz saturday... got home pretty early... quick mini vacation... sorta...

took care of paul while he was sick... he was super duper sick... even when i went to LA i kept checking up on him... he's been better... but ya...

ADRIAN IS NOW 21... and ABBY IS NOW 18!! =D ahahahahahaha... i was busy with abby's cotillion that was on 2/20, which was adrian's 21st birthday... ahahahahahhaha... overall it was great! the entourage did wonderful... everything was successful after a few bumps here and there... but it was still fun! =D and they all looked amazingly beautiful! =D

work has been work... still loving it... had my review... and got paid a bonus on friday... =) effective 3/1 is my merit increase, so i got a small raise... which still surprised mee... i'm thankful for whatever i can get... =) heehee... especially now that i'm still thinking about buying a house... whatever i can get is whatever i need! =P ahahahahahhaha... but ya...

just bought myself a new camera finally... ahahahahahahahah... my camera broke before the end of the year... sooo i have been camera-less for the past 2 months... i bought the sony dsc-t77... i like it... i had my eyes on it for a bit... sooo i finally just took the step and bought it... =)

what i'm prepping for now??? jay and jade's church wedding is in 2 months (april 25)... then off to vegas for my 25th birthday from 4/30-5/3... then hawai'i in june for abby's graduation... sooo many things... sooo little time... =P




and hopefully i won't be so scared and just say what i want to say...

the message...

sooo these past couple of days have been a bit crazy for mee... and i don't know what to do...

monday night i'm on my laptop watching "daddy's girls" on mtv.com... i get a text message... the message is from kuya jordz... what did it say??

"Hey kids, sh!tty way to say this, jesse is dead."

my reaction = press the talk button and call kuya jordz... i talk to him... at first unsure of what to think... keep asking him "what happened? are you serious?? shut up... stop lying"... and then... i just let it all out... cry my eyes out... hyperventilate... and try to breathe... is this really happening?? is he really gone?!?!?

i talked to kuya jordz... and put an away message... mariflor im's mee... asking me question... i'm trying to answer while still on the phone with kuya jordz... finally he needs to call back folks... sooo i let him go... i call ryan for the first time in 2 years... he doesn't answer cuz its late... sooo i left him a message... sucky way to tell someone the news... but i had to tell him...

i just didn't know what to do... i was still shocked... i was shaking... i had to call someone... so i called paul... and i just got off the phone with him before i got the message from kuya jordz... and all i could do was start crying... i'm crying like crazy... while he's on the phone with mee... he's just hearing mee cry... but thats all i can do... it hurt sooo much... sooo much to know that kuya jesse was gone... i didn't know what to think or do... all i could do was cry...

paul was on the phone with me til 12:30a... i called my mom at work to tell her... and she knew i was upset... i thought i couldn't be able to sleep... but i was just sooo exhausted and tired from crying... i finally fell asleep... paul called one last time to check on me... to make sure i was sleeping...

the next day i went to work... and told my coworkers... i love my coworkers... they tried their best to make me laugh and take care of myself... looked on the news for anything... and found this -- ... text kuya jordz to see if its the one... and he says it is... sooo i post like crazy on facebook the news... i couldn't really eat... i was just soooo tired and out of it... i came home... did some stuff on line... e-mails... facebook... ate a little and just lied in bed... watched tv and fell asleep... then paul called and checked up on me (and i thank him for all he's done and is doing for me...)... and we talk for a couple of hours... he's making sure i'm okae... and making sure i laugh... we finally get off the phone... i do more stuff on the laptop and head to bed... i fall asleep... but wake up... and then fall into such a deep sleep and i'm thinking i'm hearing things that i force myself to wake up... and i start freaking out... then i lie in bed and try to go back to bed... and then wake up... and go back to bed...

sooo i haven't been sleeping well... i've just been sooo tired and exhausted... but i'm trying not to think about it... today mariflor posted a link that releases kuya jesse's name as the man who died in the car crash -- ... i still can't believe this is happening...

even though there was a falling out at one point... i did get to see kuya jesse randomly at stonestown a few months back... and when we saw each other we just talked like everything was fine... talked for a really long time... and then parted ways... then he sent me a message on facebook asking for my address for the invite... he was getting married... and i was ecstatic for him! because he deserved that happiness... and he found it... sooo all of this happening... shouldn't be... him dying shouldn't have happened... but it did...

kuya jesse... you're dearly loved and missed... you have been a wonderful person... a protective older brother... and angel to those you love... continue to protect us and watch over us... take care of us... and continue to be that angel that you were once here on earth... i know you'll always be here...

HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY DADDY! =D

...sooo i went out with ate aileen to temple to celebrate quy's birthday... and as i buy us a chambord and seven... we toast... we toast to daddy... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! =D

as we're driving to get ourselves that late night snack at lucky chances... i think about it and tell ate "daddy would have been 60!"... i calculate the year he was born (1949)... calculate the year he passed away (2005, making him 56)... and then realize that its going to be 4 years since he passed away... and that still trips mee out...

soooo yes... daddy would have been 60... cah-ray-zee!!! but of course he will always hold a piece in my heart... i miss him sooo much... the one who's always stood by my side and what i believed in... the one who supported mee.. and who always made me laugh and smile....

i miss him dearly... wish that he didn't leave this world soo early... but it was his time... and my time will come... so that i can be with him again... i know he's watching down on mee... smiling... proud to have accomplished all that i could... and to show that continued strength to carry on what i need to do... i know he'll always be there to guide me through this world...



HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY DADDY!!! i miss you dearly... we all do... please continue to watch over us and take care of us... i know you're proud of us with everything we've accomplished and decided in our lives... you are my strength to carry on... and believe in what i want to believe in... without you in my life i wouldn't be who i am today... and i thank you! i love and miss you... waiting until the day we will meet again...

brought sexy back... ;-)

soooo yesterday was sheryL's 25th birthday!! ahahahahahhahaha... yesss sheryL is now a quarter-century old... kinda starting the ball rollin' of us turning 25... anywho... what did sheryL want to do for her birthday?!?!? LAP DANCING LESSON!


soooo that was what we did last night... after work, got home and changed to look like i'm going to workout... pick up meL and head to SEDUSA STUDIO... meet up sheryL and kristine... and its just the four of us... with our instructor heather... who by the way was pretty cute... ahahahahahahaha... and totally nice!! sooo we got our platform stilettos on... drank a bit... and learned some sexay moves... bringing sexy back... =P i must say... it was a lot of fun considering it was more intimate with just us 4 girls... and since we're comfortable with each other, it really didn't feel awkward... we just let lose and did our "booty shakin'"... cuz you know the booty is the money shot! =P

after getting some "new dance moves"... we head to kristine's to change and head out to yoshi's in the city... nice place... loungey... more intimate... cool folks... good music... but meL and i left @ 12a cuz we had work in the A.M... linda, marla, zsa, and tamara head over there as well as brian and his friends... got to say helloo and take a picture before heading home...

all in all... it was a fun night... a good way to celebrate sheryL's 25th... considering her 24th was spent learning how to pole dance... ;-) she wants to bring out our sexiness... and its great! =D


i totally would do the lap dance lesson again... more practical to learn that than pole dancing... cuz everyone has a chair or couch or bed in their house... but not everyone has a pole in their house... ;-) there's even a lesson for lap dancing on a bed!!!! ahahahahahahhaha... its a great bachelorette idea... or even a birthday thang... ahahahahahahahha... soooo if any girL needs an idea, here's one -- SEDUSA STUDIOS FOR SEDUCTIVE DANCING!



soooo what else is set for this weekend??!?!

SATURDAY -- going with ate liezel to the jessica mcclintock outlet in the city so she can look for a dress... and maybe i can get an idea of what i should wear to nabby's cotillion... then at night heading to azul for cousin neil and crew's party with ate aileen, mariflor, and friends...

SUNDAY -- check in on nabby's cotillion practice... head to el cerrito for my godson ryan's birthday (i think he's 9... ahahahahahahah...)... then boyz II men concert with best friend meL, her ate aileen, and lisa... and see christine as well... wuHoOoOoOo!!! party!!! cuz no work on monday! =)

MONDAY -- probably take mom to david's bridal so she can look for a dress for jay's wedding... and then shop in the city to look for a dress for nabby's cotillion... then chill til i gotta pick up jay at the airport coming back from philly...


fun weekend... hopefully i don't get too tired... =P